Balancing Screen Time For Young Kids
Screen time is a delicate balancing act, and for many, it boils down to: how much is too much?
According to a recent study, nearly half of all children under 8 have their own tablet and spend an average of 2.25 hours per day on screens.
The more TV a child watches, the more at risk they are of:
Becoming overweight or obese.
Developing behavioral problems.
Having irregular sleep habits – whether it’s falling asleep or a poor sleep routine in general.
Scoring lower on school tests.
Becoming desensitized to violence.
The negative effects of device use likely won’t come as a surprise, which is why finding the right balance for you and your family – and sticking to it – is important!
One thing that has worked well for my family is instilling a “house rule” around screen time: Our kids are not allowed to use screens during the day. Screens can only be used at night, typically after dinner. Of course, this doesn’t mean that our kids don’t ask to watch TV at other times – like weekend mornings or on rainy days. But my husband and I don’t budge since we have fostered a home environment where screen time is viewed as a privilege.
Nonetheless, it’s difficult to avoid screen use altogether, and as parents, we sometimes need a break! Whether we’re traveling or want our kids to unwind after a long day, occasional screen time does have its benefits. Let’s be honest: children are easily distracted by screens, so it’s like having the best babysitter you never had to pay for!
Here are a few ways to cultivate healthy screen-time balance for young kids:
Create phone-free rituals
We have three phone-free rituals that are sacred to us at home: mealtime, bedtime and family time.
Kids notice and absorb everything their parents do, so if they constantly see us on phones then they will model that same behavior. Device use is also distracting! If a parent pops their head up every time a text or notification comes through, then their child will start to do it too. If you turn the TV on at breakfast (even occasionally), your child will think it’s ok to use screens during meals. How many times have you seen a child plugged into a tablet at a restaurant? Often, it’s because device use is allowed during mealtime at home, which can then make a child more dependent on screens. This is a routine to be weary of as it can lead to distracted eating or a meltdown when the device is then taken away.
It’s ideal to put your phone aside for bedtime to help create a calming, restful environment for your kids before they go to sleep. A child wants to feel safe and loved, and having a parent who is present throughout this short time will help make them feel secure.
Be realistic and try to find phone-free periods each day where you give your children your undivided attention. Even if It’s just for a few minutes – every minute counts!
Engage, engage, engage!
Children want and need our attention. Often, they only ask for screen time because they are bored or because they aren’t receiving the attention they’re looking for in that moment. Of course, most parents either work during the day or have a million things to cross off their to-do lists, but engaging with your kids is probably the most important thing you can do both with, and for them. Talking and actively listening helps boost self-esteem and expands language and vocabulary. In addition, play offers an ideal opportunity for parents to bond with their children. Interactions that occur through play tell children that their parents are fully present, which helps build an enduring relationship. No matter how busy you are, it’s critical to unplug and tune in to your children’s needs each day. If they are happy and heard at home, then they won’t rely on devices as much!
Go outside.
Let kids be kids! Young children don’t need much to have fun or to be entertained. Whether it’s going for a walk or to the park, riding scooters or playing in the backyard – fresh air is not only good for their immune systems, but it also helps bolster endorphins, burn energy, and keeps them active!
As a parent, you’re also more likely to give in to device-use when you’re inside because the temptation is right in front of your kids. The more they ask for the TV to be turned on, the more they may start to break you down. However, distracting them with outside play can be healthy and fun for both the parents and children.
Let your kids be bored.
Why are parents so afraid of letting their kids be bored? From school and sports to activities and camp – it’s no wonder why overstimulation has become the norm! Some parents fear down time and constantly want their children to be entertained or occupied. However, down time can be positive! Allowing your kids to figure out – for themselves – what they want to do or what makes them happy is beneficial for their confidence and promotes self-esteem. Moreover, play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, along with physical and cognitive strength. Plus, if families have more than one child then device-free entertainment should be even simpler to accomplish since your kids can play together!
Watch with them.
Set up a family movie night where you all watch together, so screen time feels like a special treat. Or, when your kids sit down to watch a show, try to co-watch with them even if it’s just for a few minutes. Make comments on things you see, ask questions, sing a song, or cuddle with them. This is a great way for your kids to feel your presence and associate screen time with bonding time. And let’s be real…it’s not just kids who need to unwind after a long day! Co-watching gives parents the opportunity to relax, feel appreciated by their children, and enjoy a few minutes of calm.
Set boundaries.
Parents shouldn’t be afraid to be strict or say no, especially when it comes to devices. As children get older, they’ll only be exposed to more, so it’s best to get ahead of it at an early age. Be clear on what’s acceptable, and make sure to set parental controls so your child can’t stumble upon something they shouldn’t see. When you set boundaries, especially ahead of time, your kid will know what to expect which leaves less room for compromise or negotiation. Saying “no” all the time can be exhausting, so it’s best to be upfront and direct so you’re always one step ahead of them. One of the easiest ways to do this is by telling your child exactly how much TV is allowed before it’s turned on. Are they sitting down for one episode of a show or are they allowed to watch a full movie? Communicate your expectations right away. And then, as the show or movie is about to end, give 5-minute and 2-minute warnings. Often, kids will start to whine or yell when screens are turned off without warning. However, counting down helps soften the blow. If your child also knows how to turn off the TV, hand them the remote and let them do it. Sometimes, our kids just want to feel like they are in control, so allowing them to turn the TV off makes them feel empowered.
Maintaining a healthy balance is essential for most things in life. Giving young children too much freedom can be risky just as much as being too rigid can be suffocating. At the end of the day, you need to decide how much screen time you’re comfortable with, and when or how often you’re willing to bend the rules. Everyone will have a different opinion on the matter, but only you, as the parent, knows what is best for your children.
